Selfless Hearts 2017

THE PRUITT-IGOE PETRICHOR

Perchance the bliss did yon abound
With matin o'er the roses bleed
And marigold wane safe and sound
With moonlit spots into the weed

Whereon with garment of our woe
We were betroth'd with joyance ere
Thence diapasm of nether snow
Cered corse of us decumbent near

As cold cerastes stitch'd our lips
And Phoebe devour'd the sailor in
Old circus yet the mad child nips
Hallowed by Mother Lorenin

Thence just two phantoms lorn and shend
Fare on the void pale-lighted dim
Moonwalking as the arbusts send
The mammoth shadows from their limbs

(And crater ribs gargantuan like the melancholy of non-departure,
the music of abandoned station, thy raven dusk, thy widowed grief,
primordial revel of the rain where all the viper sylphids masturbate and
mar the myrrh, alloy our wine with blood tears and out the candelabra,
where Satan King shares elf-struck zested cates and Satyr Prince plays chess
for sake of sailor...)

Now let me lay among the thousand feet
A thousand wheels with lilac petals thrown
The Magus had prescribed the scent defeat
To heal a soul with Bahnhof and hydron

Septentrion would summon it's dead bears
And night would glow with that consenting light
I'll grab you like the wallet, Selene mare,
With unrelenting darkness to bedight

And we should fare to Pruitt-Igoe
Where stench and scream are graven in its buhr
A white dove drowned in sewage hours ago
As heaven vomits with its greasy fur

Unconsciousness is better than the fair
The lepra on thy face tastes like the grape
And I shall screw you bended on a dare
In elevator of unending rape

Deformity is where we all came from
We're nursed by malice legoed to destroy
The sepia of our smothered form
The symbol of the lie we've been decoyed

(And when the circus is empty again and the plasticine moon defecates me with
its lunar-band yet unchowed, I shall put on my jumper and murmur the
sea-song...)

No premonition in this silver rain
Just molten dreams fulfill reverb'rant scape
I hear my trow's nepenthean quatrain
As far above the livid sun should gape

Soothed by the slumber in the petrichor
I hear the matin o'er the marigold
Still mesmerized with gleam of watery chords
It tastes like childhood backed into a fold

Where all of dirt becomes the copper gold...

SANGHATA

Like shadows that dance with no dancer
My zeal and my wounds stay unanswered
Dreaming santon is scattered with sand
In the desert, the desolate friend

This fallow is burnt summer morning
The sweat and the ruin and the moaning
But self-pleasure in far-gone exhaust
So prostrated for all of the cost

(This sex was like the agony of gods and the eve of my night
where on the tarmac I had drank and sung with young malakias
in Old Jerusalem, where I did hail the thieves of night with
tambours - they come and go, just come and go from past to
nowhere as like the Yellow Arrow train that never stops and
never reach the station)

Behind my shut eyes it is raining
It's always pursuing and maiming
And I'm leaving the smile on your chest
As it bleeds and it floods the bloodfest

El mendigo del crudo amor
Just the moonrover taping the shore
Elseworld fragrance in dead morning haze
Touch of Grenouille's insentient gaze

DARK INDIGO

Self-harming
Death public
Curator
Suicider
Prince charming
Rain traffic
Ablator
Sweet cider

We won't hold each other's hands
We won't tumble from the clift
We won't fall like heaven sents
To the river left adrift

There's no drowning for the drowned
No more sand in hourglass
We are purity of mind
Have no mercy as it lasts

Turn the feeders to the traps
Wrap all paths with labyrinth
And from heaven's ragged gap
Drink the hocus light of sin.

Cold avengers of our fate
Hands in blood don't need the gloves
I am standing at the gate
Of your dark indigo love.

SCHOOL SHOOTER

Оооh, it's not the vanity nor magic of crime
Not even will to be on TV primetime
Neither obsession nor the mental disease
It's just the dead-end for the things oughta cease

Tis all his fear and pain reborn in delight
Humiliated soul rebuilt with the might
Tis what your unconcern and cruelty beget
Just the relationship of cause-and-effect

Kill the bully, fuck his bitch!
Fuck the bully, kill his bitch!

Another one leans under the gun
Keep in your mind before your baby's gone
There is no mercy for you and no escape
The world will drown in blood and vanish today

The die is cast - no matter how and why
This is the time for your baby to die
There's no such thing as someone's personal guilt
We all are guilty for the evil we've built

At least you care of your own kid from your nest
Don't give a rotten shit about all the rest
Before you call him monster look deep inside
The broken mirror of your shortsighted mind

The monster baby crawls in vomits tonight
Tomorrow blessed by heaven he kills the light

School shooter is the answer
From the godless silence
Kill the bully, fuck his bitch!
Fuck the bully, kill his bitch!
School shooter in the name of
Raped and defiled justice
Kill the bully, fuck his bitch!
Fuck the bully, kill his bitch!
In the name of godless silence!
In the name of your own justice!
In the name of holy violence!

Another one leans under the gun
Keep in your mind before your baby's gone
Kill every motherfucker stitched to his guts
Kill every fucking bitch and those craven cunts

The die is cast - no matter how and why
This is the time for your baby to die
It will die!

10 SONGS

This is the first song of snitch and bust
The piss-house, the questioning
They say in a law I can always trust
But sheriff said not a thing.

Yet this is the song of a smoking gun
Yeah, son of a gun I am
Old whiskey moon and a pussy sun
Let move up the crusty ham

This is the 2nd song of despair
Of hotel rape and knife-fight
I cut them over I cut'em fair
And fleed in the sheltering night

The 3rd song of mafia massacre
Dismemb'ring in baths of hot blood
Baby, this way is far insecure
So, would you join the flood?


Then this is the 4th song of hate and pain
The 5th song of eastern jail
The 6th song of torture, the 7th of maim
The 8th song I fuckin' fail

Then comes the 9th song of legal advise
And court-room stenography
The counsellor, bishop, the judge and the lice
Stinging my dormant feel

And like an old tape spinnin' at speed of sound
I'm watching my hideous life
Where is my wife? Where are daughters and sons?
Where is my lucky knife?

Bundy, Kuklinski, Ramirez and shit
Now are my neighbourhood
Hey, Evilenko, would I be the saint
If once I became your food?

They put the ticket on my thumb as I
Lie down blue and cold as lead
This is the 10th song as my final sigh
That I have before I'm dead

DECADE OF ADDICTION

I wake up still harassed by dreams
And sense collapsing limbs
Cannot remember anything
That's nothing as it seems

All in my headache and remorse
For what I've done and not
Twas alright yesterday or worse
The room is dark and hot

What is my fancy what is real
No way
To find it out

Tossing my feet
Crossing my hands
Total defeat

This is the dark and dull decade
I spend forlorn and wet
The turbid eyes eternal fade
Dismissed in my regret

What happened true and what I dreamt
No way
To find it out

The bird with burning wings
Flies with the midnight winds
Onto my face my past
Will that forever last

All in my headache and remorse
For what I've done and not
Twas alright yesterday or worse
The room is dark and hot

What is my fancy what is real
No way
To find it out

Decade of heart abuse
Of having no excuse
Decade of tears and hate
And everyone betrayed

LONG WAY DOWN

Now as I hide my scars
No one can see
Hurting my pride
I have to go that far
Stitched on all sides
Wrapped up so tight

Gone upon the stone
To rest forever home

Please don't cross my way
It is but the long way down
Casting your hopes away
You find someone who is still around

I have been all wrong
Procrastinating life

Gone upon the stone
To rest forever home

Please don't cross my way
It's but the long way down
Casting your hopes away
You find someone who is still around

Making life a song
Make love a slumber blind

Gone upon the stone
To rest forever home



AND YOU WILL GO

One last smile
And you will go
Roads divine
Are waiting for

I did all my best
You deserve some rest

Your golden mile
I'll never watch you there
Taking a while
WIshing you do but fair

Years are done
And you will go
Meeting the sun
Chasing the heaven floor

You did all your best
Bird will leave its nest

Growing above
One you have been before
Trembling of love
Getting into the core

Your golden mile
I'll never watch you there
Taking a while
Wishing you do but fair

Tracing you
Embracing you
Pacing through


SELFLESS HEARTS

As we're standing in the night
In this cold we're not alone
As wer're running out of life
Searching empty streets for home

In decline
Letting all our wasted dreams away
Happy with our selfless hearts astray
Calm in being wingless in a fall
Never have to feel regret at all

Never have to feel regret at all

As we're climbimg up the roofs
There's no need in cloven-hoofs
Did we reach the height of pain
Giving ourselves to rain

Luring darkness of the light
Meant for loveless for the blind
Throw our cold hands in the air
Out there surely must be fair

In decline
Letting all our wasted dreams away
Tonight
Happy with our selfless hearts astray
Tonight
Calm in being wingless in a fall
Tonight
Never have to feel regret at all
Never have to feel regret at all
Never have to feel at all...



TORN

Days are changing, next in line
Will no different be.
All is theirs and nothing's mine
All was meant for me

What is the reason for
Running miles away?
All I won I'll lose tomorrow in this play

Buy and trade
Seek and hide
Soon forget
Bear the blade
Hold the tide
No regret
Loving way
Free denial
Lies all sworn
True or play
Broken file
I am torn

Where do I run?
When do I stop and recall?

Empty eyes and empty streets
Cold as winter night
I hold back my homesick greed
And this love worldwide

What is the reason for
Running miles away?
When do I stop and recall?

Buy and trade
Seek and hide
Soon forget
Bear the blade
Hold the tide
No regret
Loving way
Free denial
Lies all sworn
True or play
Broken file
I am torn

Where do I run?
When do I stop?
I am all torn

I am torn


LIBERATION

Waterfalls outshine the neon lights of square
I breathe it's freezing breath my soul is deep in there
The ice of time arises on the marble bay
And spirits melt beside the northern holiday

Stereo lanterns lead my heart away
Out from the memories of that lonely day
People are gone now in times when we met
It is a bliss to renew, to forget

Waterfalls outshine the neon lights of square
I breathe it's freezing breath my soul is deep in there
And spirits melt beside the northern holiday
The ice of time arises on the marble bay

And now my heart is free from nostalgia and pain
It has farewelled the things that will not come again

Stereo lanterns lead my heart away
Out from the memories of that lonely day
People are gone now in times when we met
It is a bliss to renew, to forget

OUTSIDER

I love their mangos and their red-starred jeans
The bruises of the harsh voluptuous teens
What courage makes and what the blankets hide
The sweat and hot of adolescent night

I love them all so rude and so naive
To their old haunts I am the silent thief
My eyes they steal what I cannot admit
Can you see me

In this crazy hole
I am the first insane

WARCHILD

Killing frown
Sweat and fist
Don't look down
It's not your feast

Look at me
We're the war
And admit
Final score

Love is but control and pain
You will never fail again

Beat the sympathy against the one you need
I can carry on your whole aggressive feed

Fighting grace
Bleeding cold
I posses
Words untold

Don't believe
Me this time
I would grieve
For yours and mine

Everything will be destroyed
Why fear what you can't avoid?
Friends will stay forever friends
But will never make amends

SUICIDAL LOVE REVIVED

II hear the sound that comes rolling back again
I steep there low like in the crumbs of desert sand
Your voice is still alive though many years went by
Why just my silly heart can't learn that last goodbye

It's taking overnight like the shadowed light
Feed my memories with pain that I can't hide
Is it the destiny that I cannot foretell
The distance is as long as our farewell

I run the rainy streets within the fuzzy lights
The circled nowhere helpless tears within my eyes
I'm drunk again I wish to split down on the road
This suicidal love revived to me has told:

I love abiding but I never want to meet
I drink my pain I can exist but in defeat
I never was afraid not asked what for to die
You cannot see thank God my weakness, my defile

NOORDERLINGEN

Note every sign around you
Veils are all falling down
That is the northern guiding
Winter that sings her cold white sound

That is so peaceful walk yard
Does our feet go round and round?
That is a storm inside you
But your disguise do hide it fine


Can you build the other world
If your own one is still bloody gray?
Care your fold - it just upholds
No one can ever take you away

Clever mind, none can reach another's line
Or this northern night
Take you just behind

To the point of no return
We're too old to get same burn

Mesmerized with all our thoughts
Stupidity, the young
I must say we did a lot
To lose fine words we sung
Did a lot to lose the world
Could have been built in us
Break yourself if still do want
In patience do I trust

Can you build the other world
If your own one is still bloody gray?
Care your fold - it just upholds
No one can ever take you away

Clever mind, none can reach another's line
Or this northern night
Take you just behind

Hope you'd find better way it's not my kind
I would better stay
Where the snow flows with pain of mine...

ETERNAL RAIN

I see the tumbling world
And time has grown on me
But heaven is blind so angels can't see

When hope and joy uphold
My storm cloud hanging low
They'll bring the rainy words you know

Love we wait for years - all must have known
Harmonies gliding whisper in the flow
Taking the ride above the emptiness
Gather all your dreams and lay to rest

Please, listen to me now
I come to soothe your pain
But people are deaf - they don't hear the rain

I bring this wine for you
Roses and cold refrain
Dance on your thirsty soul again

Standing on the stairway of you prayer
Essense of life you have forgotten there
Ride above the heartless emptiness
Gather all your dreams and lay to rest

DAYS OF SORROW

The nomad's heart won't find a place
To call it home to call it grace
The loneliness that's on your way
Is only one you never can betray

Line is running up the years
Trace of parting's made of tears
Heart is full of hollow ground
And your voice is spread around

Sorrow never dies

Another day starts form the run
You were here now and then you're gone
What winds may carry in your glide?
It's sad but I can't spare your night

LAST NIGHT WITH MOLLY JEAN

Is there a voice in windblow's rage, in clasping words of fire?
Is there a letter on a page left for my good admire?

Is there a howling universe in restless thunderstorm?
My heart has known the holy curse that's paid to stay forlorn

I met Molly Jean there on the river blueish bank
12 years have passed since I'd seen my maid
I had no fear and I had no rank
- Molly Jean - I asked - Have you already met your man?
She said - My man he won't exist until I really go insane

- But somebody calls for you at night -
I said those bitter words as like the sunset threw the dying light
- Don't you sound so funny - she said - I'm really ever cared
By the world or by my inner self and my pride that still remained

- Have your mercy on me, you know I'm your man - I said
- No - she answered - all you've done no one can ever mend

So that pretty sunset with my tears has dimmed the lonely skies
And the story of the universe collapsed revealed upon my eyes

- All the bitter things you've known were not so-called mistakes - I said -
But the cross and crown of thorns I wore to get here fuckin' kneeling and repaid

Baby, look around - baby looks away...
Emptiness inside - it cannot stand my play

I said - I clearly see you cold and unforgivin' heart
And I do the fuckin' same - It's really so motherfuckin' hard
She said - You never fuckin' understand the way somebody else may feel
So fuckin' leave me and go home your soul it is so fuckin' dumb and unreal

- Have your conscience on me, you know I'm your man - I said
- No - she whispered - all that you are no one can ever mend

So the tiny little worthless drop has wettened my lost knees
I said "farewell" it was already morning I left my Molly's leers

That was the ever truth how could I ever doubt?
We must part and all my life was but a long way down...

HEAVEN THAT WE TREAD

Close your weary eyes
Hollowed by the lies
In a dream of past

Will your heart grow cold
And your pain enfold
Disassociated watching?

Days go running by
In our great divide
I won't give'm names instead

Loose your hand and frown
We need to stay alone
On the empty shores of our despair

Please forgive me I
Had to make you cry
But we never wondered why

Light was always sad
In heaven that we tread
In the sudden rain we are strangers...

The furthermost of our forgotten hearts
Comes calling through the morbid winter sleep
But we retreat like ocean waves above
When falling splashed to opaque underneath...

THE IMPENDING DEATH OF A VIRGIN SPIRIT

Cold pale skies
Washed away
Years off from your face
And you like those days

Standing cold
And alone
Full of skyborn dreams
Searching for the half of you

Winter tells
Foreign strangers eyes
They call back your cries
But did not stop thus

At your sight
Blizzard grows to fight
Grip your pillow tight
Dreams can't hurt you that

There is something wrong
To watch them go forever
And never take them home

Once for more
You are to escape
Your divinity
Does it mean betrayal

Grounded low
On the firmament
You will pay the rent
As your purity has fled
Look behind
Thousand worlds lean down
To the nebulous shrine
In oblivion
Loose the skies
Or drown in your heart
And become a part of those worlds apart
You can still drive home
Watching snowflakes melt away on their own