He was laughing at my feelings

He was laughing at my feelingss.
There were gossips - I was a slave of him.
was running like a puppy
just to be petted , to be kissed.

He was drinking beer,
never called me back.
I was suffering,
tortured my poor Soul.
He was like God, the only one .
I lost myself in making myself harm.

I don't really love anybody now.
My eyes are pale,
lips don't move in a smile.
I wish I had at least any feelings.

But even pain has vanished far away.