honest liars

And for as long as I remember, You’ve had this fragrant smell of smoke,
Or rather ash.
And for as long as I remember, my feelings, friendly maybe, yet very faint,
I tried to keep from you away.
I never want to deal no harm, I never want to give no pain, and as perhaps you know,
I would have driven you insane.
My thoughts, as always, a Pandora’s box, so deeply filled with worries-
Shit, my "Happy thoughts".

......
-My cigarette is almost fully out- you want to share another one?
-Of course.
.....

I want to stay your friend, but yet I try to aim for more, and all my self control is dead,
Or maybe, drowned in alcohol.
And In those drunken, rhyme less lines and lines of words- I want to tell you me- so you can see-
What came from you, and what is truly part of me.
Though it is really cold- so let my sudden honesty stay buried with the rest of ash and smoke.
And let you never see the real man behind the lines.
Because we always were, two perfect lovers. Liars.
You and me.